Parenting

What is parenting?

Being a parent means taking on the role of raising a child. It goes beyond the ability to bring a child into the world. Children- and the lifetime art of raising them- are a celebrated part of culture and religion in all parts of Africa.

• Preconception. Planning to be a good parent begins before the baby child is conceived. This involves preparing mentally for the thought of getting pregnant. Family planning methods allow the sexually active to plan the number and spacing of their children. With people who are ready to conceive healthy life style e.g. exercising reducing alcohol intake and cutting down the use of tobacco, aids in having a healthy pregnancy. Prenatal vitamins for both parents are encouraged.

• Pregnancy. Antenatal care by the midwife or doctors helps guide expectant parents through a healthy pregnancy. Regular checks are opportunities for health education and growth monitoring of the child. Research has linked adequate antenatal care visits with better pregnancy outcomes.

• Postpartum. Recovery is different for vaginal delivery and caesarean sections with caesarean section recovery periods being much longer. Now that the baby is here parents see the importance of support from other members of the family or a good support system. Having help with tasks will free up time for mother to have adequate rest. Adequate sleep improves mental health status and prevents a trigger for postpartum depression. Parents are also much more attentive with the child e.g. with feeding and observation and can notice almost immediately when something is wrong.
  
• Infancy. When trying to encourage your little one’s development, consider that researchers who examined Einstein and other high achievers believe certain parenting behaviours may lead to more successful adults. Such influential parenting behaviours include:
  • Encouraging a child’s independence, but intervening when necessary
  • Introducing new ideas and possibilities to a child
  • Make very strategic parenting choices based on your child’s unique needs

However, these styles are not effective if the child’s basic needs are not met; the need to feel clean, safe, warm and loved. During this period, it is important to play together, encourage good sleep, read together and provide good nutritious options for the growing infant

• Middle childhood. During this period, a child may want to dress on their own, show more independence from parents and family and, pay more attention to friends and teamwork, and want to be liked and accepted by friends. As a parent, you can steer the child positively during this period by:
  • Showing affection for your child and recognizing your child’s accomplishments
  • Talk with your child about respecting others
  • Help your child learn patience by letting others go first or by finishing a task before going out to play
  • Use disciple to guide and protect your child rather than punishment to make him feel bad about himself
  • Help your child develop a sense of responsibility by assigning age appropriate house hold chores.
  • Praise your child for good behaviour

• Before the teenage years. A tween is a child who’s somewhere around ages 9 to 13. At this stage, they experience significant changes (mental physical and emotional) as they approach puberty. They may have a more rebellious spirit, have a certain disinterest for hobbies previously loved and trade them for newfound hobbies. They also stress the need to fit in with their peers and have fears of feeling embarrassed in front of others. As a parent, it is important to:
  • Practice empathy and understanding of their behaviours
  • Help guide decision making as they may value opinions of their peers more
  • Be a good role and let them see you exhibit behaviours you stress on
  • Have conversations about sex, drugs and alcohol as they may be exposed to information from multimedia and be pressured by friends
  • Monitor their use of social media
  • Never intentionally embarrass your child in front of their friends
    
• Adolescence. The essential role of parents during this formative period remains unchanged. During this period, it is essential for parents to:
  • Love and connect: offer support and acceptance while affirming the increased maturity
  • Let the teenagers know you pay attention to what they do, their health, behaviours and patterns
  • Guide and limit by upholding clear boundaries while encouraging increased competence
  • Provide continual support for decision making, teaching by example and ongoing dialogue
  • Provide a supportive home environment and a network of caring adults, outside the home.
    
• Adult children need care and guidance. It is important for parents to know when not to overstep their boundaries